Oil on Canvas,

30x48” Inches, 2022

Gallery Style Canvas

Not one day goes by where I don’t think of you

I can still smell your soft skin of lavender everywhere I step

I try to forget you but I am breathing you in

Every day I am reminded of you seeing peonies blossoming through the veil of what we call reality. I long for the day I can run my hands through your golden curly locks one last time, the thought of you twists in my mind like your hair explodes in ecstasy

The Dark Night of the Soul transformed me, igniting my spirit to an extraordinary power where I had to go to the darkest depths of my soul to let you go when you left. La Muza you took me to a place of comfort and peace I have never felt in my heart. Where a man can lay down his armour and rest but when you pulled away, the wrestling of the turmoil inside me stirred upon my being, my world flipped upside down to an unbearable place I did not want to go but yet it heightened me into a higher frequency to love more.

I wait for you every single day like eyes waiting for a shooting start to arise in the night. I long for the day you return to feel my blood wildly run through my veins again, like a stallion running freely in the vast fields. As I face this lonely time I still remember our two hearts colliding like waves meet rock, a fury Intertwined and locked into one another. I still feel your divine light Adelina, like the white cloth that wraps you in starlight. I hope one day I can hold your essence once again in this realm or the next.

La Muza - the Process-

The background of blue and yellow sat above my bed for months going through the dark night of the soul. Wondering when I would paint it, I thought it was going to be something different a cityscape horizontally. I turned it on its side after what my inner spirit said go smoke a cigar. As I walked the street of yorkville pacing around the city streets for hours fixating on this piece, I could feel my body stir in turmoil. Something was arising in me. The passion, the anger, the abuse and the helplessness. La Muza left me but for months I could still feel her pain day in and day out. Spirit told me to smoke a cigar and to feel the pain in the chamber of my mouth. She hated the smell of tobacco, the taste of abuse, pain, neglect and abandonment swirling in my mouth. I could feel every thing she endured. This physical pain I felt throughout my whole body walking around from her past. It drove me mad feeling this pain that something was arising in me which I had tp paint. I could feel someone else’s trauma energetically in my body. As I released it on Canvas. The pain she suffered in the Ukraine (Hence the blue and gold of the flag) I sipped wine and tasted a burnt cigar as I danced with this canvas listening to Spanish guitar for 6 hours romantically falling in love with the process through the Dark Night of the Soul to let out an expression I have never felt before. It killed me where I did not sleep for days I could not eat until this piece came to life. This process started 10 months before this painting was even birthed into reality, it was all being unlocked in me to produce such a painting like this. Being bed ridden for 65 days of physically seized back pain to not sleeping for sometimes up to 10 days straight and not eating till I was deathly thin and then La Muza was created. I hope you enjoy this painting as much as I do and you fall in love with the story to awaken your heart and evoke some sort of emotion. so you can release and come into more love and light frequencies into your experience in this earth.